My Daughter Got a Tattoo and I’m Okay with it
By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
In the Jewish community, tattoos are taboo.
As a member of that community, I never understood why. After all, my father (the “Frank” of Franks & Beans) had Airforce wings tattooed on his inside forearm. Reason: he served proudly as an aerial photographer and staff sergeant in WWII. But it’s said that if you bear a tattoo, you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Yet thankfully, my dad now rests peacefully in one.
While discussing this with my dear friend Brian, a scholar of the Catholic faith, he decided to get to the bottom of the debate, and found the answer in the Torah: “You shall not etch a tattoo on yourselves.” (Leviticus 19:28)
Well that pretty much says it all. Or does it? What’s the ‘why?’
Three plausible explanations appear on Chabad.org. The most profound interpretation (in my opinion) is: “The human body is G-d’s creation, and it is therefore unbefitting to mutilate G-d’s handiwork.”
That makes sense. And, it led me to think that perhaps purposely getting a tattoo might be considered a reminder of the unspeakable atrocities of the Holocaust. During that horrific time, victims were tattooed as a degrading way of identifying them. Those vile revisionists can say whatever they want, but the Holocaust was real, and the inked numbers on victims’ inside wrists are just one piece within an entire body of evidence.
Yet despite all this, when my daughter Jardin announced her plan to get a tattoo, I accepted her decision.
First, at 20 years old, Jardin is an adult. She works and saved her money to pay for that tattoo, and doesn’t need my permission anymore.
But the second reason is something that spoke to my heart. About four years ago, Jardin met a young woman named Vicki who changed her life in a number of positive ways. Jardin was Vicki’s most trusted babysitter, and when Vicki was transferred to open the Cherry Hill location of Jules Pizza, Jardin was her first hire. It was Jardin’s first “real” job, and she still works there to this day. Vicki and Jardin became friends and confidants, and the three of us joked that Vicki was Jardin’s “work mom.” I could not have chosen a more beautiful soul to be my daughter’s work mom. Sadly and very suddenly, Vicki passed away. It was about two years ago. And it was devastating, to say the least.
Jardin’s dorm room at Rowan University is decorated by posters of rock bands and family pictures. Among them are pictures of Vicki.
Jardin chose to get a tattoo as her remembrance to Vicki. So now, she proudly sports a slice of pizza in an innocuous but hidden place (hidden because she plans on becoming a teacher, and can’t have a tattoo that shows). Just under the point of the slice is a bold, stylized “V” for Vicki.
A slice of pizza sounds like a trivial tattoo, but the reasons behind it are anything but. And I’m okay with it.
RIP, beautiful Vicki.
♥,
PS: Do you have a tattoo? What is it and why did you choose it? Please use the comment section below.
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January 20, 2017 @ 8:01 pm
Tobi, thanks for sharing this beautiful story. Good for Jardin to commemorate her friend this way.
January 20, 2017 @ 10:48 pm
Thanks, Barbara. I am very proud of her!
January 20, 2017 @ 1:08 pm
Thank you everyone! I loved reading your stories of strength, bonding and remembrance, and I appreciate your sharing them with me. It almost makes me want to get a tattoo myself!
January 20, 2017 @ 10:08 am
I have two tatoo’s. I got the first one 7 years ago, after my Dad passed, and it’s a Heart on my ankle that says “Dad”
The second I got a year ago, after my brother Billy passed. He had a crescent moon with 1 star on his chest, above his heart.
Me, my son and my nephew all went together to get the same tattoo. The boys got theirs where Billy’s was, but I put mine on my back shoulder, knowing that Billy will always have my back.
So, I get it, Jardin. It is a beautiful way to always remember the people who left this earth.
January 20, 2017 @ 9:21 am
Tobi — I just love this story. Both of my girls have gotten tattoos and each for different reasons. My oldest got a tattoo with her roommates of the house address on their ankles as a forever bond. My other daughter got a lotus flower on the back of her neck (which she drew herself) to symbolize something beautiful comes from nothing. This prompted me to get my own tattoo which is a beautiful fairy on my left ankle with the words “alis volat propriis” which means “She Flies With Her Own Wings”. This was to symbolize my renewed self, my independence and strength after my divorce – I’m okay, I can do this on my own and I have! Tattoos are very personal and very emotional and I love every inch of mine and what it stands for.
January 20, 2017 @ 8:55 am
My daughter has more than a few tattoos. A couple of years ago for Mother’s Day, she gave me one. She asked if we could get matching tattoos to show our bond. We have 3 waves with “Somewhere beyond the Sea around them. I love it and it shows our mutual love of the beach and cruising together.
January 20, 2017 @ 7:32 am
What a tribute! I can picture that piece of pizza with the “V” and love the idea of a visual reminder. I’m sure it must be very comforting to Jardin. Thanks for sharing this story. It really touched my heart.
January 19, 2017 @ 11:27 pm
Tobi, I once did an article a long time ago on the Jewish prohibition on tattoos.The reason had to do with ancient Jews being forbidden from imitating the ways of the pagans, who decorated their bodies with tattoos. Not too many pagans around these days, but the prohibition stands.
January 19, 2017 @ 10:56 pm
I just love that story–except for the premature, heartbreaking loss of Vicki. Good for Jardin. My son has three, and two are much larger than I would prefer. As a result, he wears the long-sleeved version of the required work uniform. I see a lot of long sleeves in his future!
January 19, 2017 @ 11:08 pm
Thank you so much, Cindy. Seeing as Wes is in sunny California, I’m thinking long sleeves are not going to be very comfortable. 🙂