14 Worst Dates
By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
We’ve all had good dates, bad dates and terrible dates.
The terrible dates usually make the best stories.
Let me take a step back for a moment to explain that—Monday through Friday—we pose a QOTD (Question of the Day) on our closed Facebook group page, South Jersey Girls Who Wanna Have Fun. Not too long ago, member Carolyn Slaw asked the question, “What was your worst date?” As you can imagine, we got some doozies.
- DK: We stopped at McDonald’s after a movies, and he whipped out his penis under the table to see if I was interested in him or it. Well, that was the first and last date. Later I found out he did the same thing with my girlfriend at the bowling ally. 😆
2. SM: Went out to a fancy restaurant and he ordered an appetizer of stuffed mushrooms (of which there were 3) and we had 1-1/2 each. That was the dinner and that was the last date. I think we even had just water to drink.
3. BWU: I had been dating someone and the first time we were intimate he asked if he could call me mommy. No kidding. I got a million of them.
4. JG: Air Force octopus took me to see Temple of Doom and wouldn’t take the hint until I took a long refreshment break and reseated myself with my drink, bag and jacket between us. First and last date, lol.
5. DR: I think I win #internet date: Very nice guy, went on a few dates, and by the grace of God, I found out he was on the sex offenders list. Yes, I ended it ASAP. Also reported him to the dating site. That was 5 years ago, and it was the last date I ever went on…until last week, when I was contacted on Facebook by an old high school friend. Wish me luck, LOL! I am 62, and if it doesn’t work out, I am happily single…
6. NE: So many! But probably when my date went to the bathroom after we ordered dinner and never came back. Once I realized what happened, the manager came over to say she was sorry for me. She comped my meal which I ate. Then she told me that the customers at the bar wanted to buy me a drink. I ended up having a fun night on my own!
7. MGS: Internet date. Met him at a bar. He had more hair coming out of his ears than out of his head. I just kept staring thinking did you NOT see that? As I am a barber it was our only date! LOL
8. AO: Many years ago, I had a first date with someone I met through a dating service (and had talked on the phone a number of times and seen each other’s photo). As we were walking to Houlihan’s at the Cherry Hill Mall, he said he had to use the men’s room. After waiting for 20 minutes, I asked one of the guards to go in to see if he was alright. He was gone and obviously escaped through the outside door at the end of the hallway. Best part – a year later – the phone rings at 10:00 at night – it’s him – he says, “Do you remember me?” – “Yes,” I said, “I’m still waiting for you to come out of the men’s room!” (I slammed the phone down so never did talk to him again.)
9. JP: Drove to a sporting event at a stadium with my friend and her date to meet my date there. He was coming from work. After the game, he was going to drive me back to my friend’s house to get my car. Problem is he couldn’t remember where he parked his car in the stadium—at all. We had to get a security guard to drive us all around the stadium. He didn’t even know which side of the stadium he was on. I couldn’t help because I didn’t come with him. To top it off he brought oranges to eat during the game (he was kosher so had limited options in the stadium). As we were walking around, his oranges were dripping and falling out of the bottom of the bag! The security guard said, “Hey mister, you’re losing your fruit!” 😂 The security guard was hysterical and he and I were quietly joking with each other. I hope I don’t sound mean. I was laughing with the security guard only during a period of time where I was sitting in the security guard’s office well out of earshot of my date. It was so stressful, and joking cut the tension. It took so long that by the time we got to my friend’s house she was fast asleep and her date (who, by the way, is now her husband) was already back at his place, asleep too! And this was after they had spent some time together. The guy was so out of touch that when we finally found the car and were driving, he was trying to talk me into going away with him for a weekend! Again, I hope I don’t sound mean. I can be scatterbrained myself. But this was pretty extreme!
10. LRC: First date arrives with – not flowers or candy – but a vibrator. I believe I told him that based on his gift, I really didn’t need him around at this point. 😉😳😂
11. BIB: I was held up on Chestnut Street on a FIRST date. We walked over to the Irish Pub and called the police, who picked up our mugger right where we left him. Then the police took us to the station to give statements, except it was a new building and the cop driving got lost. On the way, our cop helped another cop arrest a hooker, and a manhunt in the area we were driving through came on over the radio and our cop actually asked us to look for the dude with him while we were driving. At the police station we were obviously separated to give our statements, and another cop told me how he likes to “air dry” out of the shower. Great. The police drove us home (me to my dorm, date to his apartment. Rolling up to the dorm at 2am in a police car was great…)
12. DPG: When the bill came, my date wanted to split it. He said it was a meeting not a date. So many bad dates. Until I met my husband.
He didn’t offer me any ‘play money’
He ran out of his own money
Asked me for $5
Put it in Slot and hit for $400
Handed me back my $5
14. CS: Took him out for dinner. I had to drive (he had a DUI, no big deal). Few minutes into the date, an awful chirping begins. I think “Maybe it’s his cellphone?” WRONG! It was an ankle monitor! He was so embarrassed, as he had a few drinks and forgot about the darned thing. We left in a hurry to report to the local precinct, and thankfully all’s well that ends well. Dinner was good, and we are dating still, 7 years later ❤️.
So, which of these 14 dates do you think was the worst?
Comment below to let us know, and while you’re at it, what was YOUR worst date?
Mindy Merdinger Blackstock
August 3, 2021 @ 3:25 pm
The Sex Offender was the worst! I have had many awful ones too. One of the worst was an Accountant who told me during our date that he was awaiting sentencing for a federal felony, smurfing, which is apparently selling telephone lists. He claimed it’s a victimless crime, but those car warranty scammers get their phone numbers from someone. I met him in a Starbucks while I was knitting. He was with his son who shared a similar Special Education experience to my daughter, but instead of being proud of his son for graduating College and getting a job, he was embarrassed that his son was working at a NY Sports Club and didn’t understand his son’s disabilities. He was too fixated on his ex-wife as well. I told him I was not interested, and was about to give up dating all together until I was asked out by my ❤️
August 3, 2021 @ 4:39 pm
Mindy, I am so very happy that you made your way to your prince. Sorry you had to kiss so many frogs first. And that makes me so sad that the Starbucks guy didn’t treasure his son for who he is. Hopefully he will soon have his aha moment.