loneliness Archives

May 23 2020

Technically Alone, Yet Technically Together

Tobi Schwartz-Cassell Moving right along Best South Jersey Girls Night Out, Coronavirus, COVID-19, depression, Girls Night In, girls night out, isolation, loneliness, online events, Physical distancing, Social distancing, South Jersey Girls Night In, South Jersey Girls Night Out, South Jersey Girls Who Wanna Have Fun, virtual events, Zoom events 1

By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell

I’ve been doing women’s events for 11 years. Five for Girlfriendz Magazine (the magazine I created and ran for seven years) and six for Franks & Beans Events. I’m happy to say that I learned something new at our event this past Thursday night!

The evening featured Paper Artist Lorena Melcher of Melcher Creations, and we each had a chance to create something beautiful. Lorena designed kits for each of us in which she tucked beautiful stamped and embossed paper, sparkly gemstones, a frame and a glue stick. Even a bonus project! What she didn’t include was her opinion. She left that to us. So my choice of project was Terry’s choice. And Linda’s choice was her niece Jessica’s choice. And Kim’s choice was Sandy’s and Janis’ choice. They ended up looking the same and yet, looking different. And that was a big part of the fun!

So what did I learn? I learned that in 11 years of doing live events with between 30 and 50 guests, the virtual events that Kim, Linda and I have been presenting are amazing in their own way. At our first virtual event, there were 20 guests (not including our team members). At Thursday night’s event, we had 14 (not including our team), and here’s where the learning comes in: I’m seeing that less is more.

Whether by choice or by circumstance, many women live solo. And as we continue to shelter-in-place, that sometimes leads to loneliness. Put us together using technology, and we are technically alone, yet technically together. During the event, it felt like I was in a room filled with women! And I got to know them in a different way than getting to know them at a live event.

Everyone was relaxed and ready to have fun, to experiment with her creativity and to meet some new people.

Because it was virtual, sisters Marcy and Linda, and Marcy’s daughters, had the opportunity to spend an evening together, despite the fact that Linda lives in NJ, Marcy lives in LA, and the girls live in TX and FL. I had the opportunity to spend an evening with my sister Molly. Even though we live a town away, we haven’t seen each other in person since early February.

All of this is making me even more excited for our upcoming virtual events.

So what are you doing technologically now that you’ve never done before? Please let us know in the comments below.

Sending you my love–technologically, of course ❤,

PS: Join us on Facebook for support and laughter at South Jersey Girls Who Wanna Have Fun, for those who live in South Jersey, and Girls Who Wanna Have Fun, for those living anywhere else. Everyone is welcome to join in on the fun!

*PPS: I hope you don’t need this, but if you do, please contact the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 572-SAFE (7233), 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Or call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. Click here for a variety of resources for those living in New Jersey.

April 28 2020

The Case Against Social Distancing

Tobi Schwartz-Cassell Moving right along anxiety, Best South Jersey Girls Night Out, Coronavirus, COVID-19, depression, Girls Night In, girls night out, isolation, loneliness, online events, Physical distancing, Social distancing, South Jersey Girls Night In, South Jersey Girls Night Out, South Jersey Girls Who Wanna Have Fun, virtual events, Zoom birthday party, Zoom funeral, Zoom Shiva 2

By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell

Six-feet apart is still the order of the day, as we watch COVID-19 cases and death counts heartbreakingly mount.

But must we call what we are doing “social distancing?” Wouldn’t “physical distancing” make more sense? I ask because the last thing we should be doing now is being socially distant from one another.

With so many suffering from depression, anxiety, isolation and loneliness, the last thing we need to be is mentally, emotionally and socially distant from each other.

Trust me, I am a staunch advocate for physical distancing. It’s what the scientists are telling us to do. And if I’m going to take advice from anyone, it’s going to be a scientist. Stan and I consider ourselves beyond blessed to be able to stay safely in our apartment. And, we have the deepest of gratitude and respect for the essential workers who put their lives on the line for us–and everyone else–every single day. We request on their behalf, continued good physical and mental health. If anyone deserves it it’s them. Yes, the economy is important. But if most of the population dies from a global pandemic, the economy will too.

So, I’m not against the concept of social distancing. I’m against the terminology that was chosen to describe it.

On Sunday, we attended a Zoom funeral in Central Jersey for my dear friend Debbie’s father, a victim of the Coronavirus. After that, we “traveled” to a Zoom birthday party in Abington for our future daughter-in-law, Christine. The day ended back in Central Jersey, with a Zoom Shiva (Jewish prayer service to honor the person who passed away, and to support those who are mourning that person). We hit 3 destinations in two states, yet we didn’t move one inch to go from one milestone event to the next. One of my friends pointed out that as much of a roller coaster day it was for us, there was one undeniable constant—love. (You nailed it, Kathy.)

Though we were physically distancing for all three functions, the last thing we were doing was socially distancing. It wasn’t the preferred way for the mourners or for our birthday girl, but the alternative would have been disappointment for Christine and loneliness for Debbie.

So, as we continue to live through this unprecedented time in our lives, never lose sight of the most important four-letter word we have in our arsenal: Love. Share it with those you live with, and those who are living alone, and those living in a dangerous (abusive*) situation.

Sending you my love,
❤,

PS: Who are you celebrating and/or memorializing during this difficult time, and how are you doing it? Have you bought stock in Zoom yet? Please let us know in the comments below.

PPS: Here’s one way to stay socially close to those who are near or far—our online events. And join us on Facebook for support and laughter at South Jersey Girls Who Wanna Have Fun. Everyone is welcome, no matter where you live!

*PPPS: I hope you don’t need this, but if you do, please contact the New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 572-SAFE (7233), 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Or call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. Click here for a variety of resources for those living in New Jersey.