Tobi Schwartz-Cassell’s Blog is “Moving Right Along…”
I’m Tobi Schwartz-Cassell and I am constantly moving right along, having moved along from Girlfriendz Magazine in December 2013. I am moving right along into the next phase of my life, starting in April 2014 with my new business, Franks and Beans Events. With this blog, I’ll continue from where I left off when my blog was published in Girlfriendz. Remember the TV show “After M*A*S*H?” Well consider this blog to be “After Girlfriendz.”
Mostly what I write about is what’s happening in my life, because I find that if I’m living through it, many other women are living through it, too.
In past Moving Right Along blog posts, I’ve talked about silly things like making brownie waffles on vacation, to more moving things, like watching my first child going off to college, to some scary things like living through melanoma.
Come along and join me in moving right along, and we’ll move into our future together!
And don’t forget to join me at my Franks and Beans Events! My staff and I produce some really entertaining BYOB Girls Nights Out like Psychic Dinners, Canvas Painting Dinners and Crafting dinners. See all of our events at http://www.franksandbeans.net.
As Thanksgiving draws near, I am once again in search of recipes. To be specific, vegetarian appetizer recipes.
There are two things I firmly believe in, in regard to the Thanksgiving kitchen:
Most hostsneed help and are happy when guests ask to bring something
Most guestswouldn’t dream of coming to a Thanksgiving dinner (or any other dinner party) empty handed
My specialty is dessert. I love to bake. My second favorite recipes to make are side dishes. But where we will be enjoying Thanksgiving 2017 is at two of our BFFs’ home. We are so happy to be welcomed into their family celebration, that I will bring anything they ask. Even if that means appetizers.
And there’s one more step to this equation. I am vegetarian, so I need to be able to eat what I bring.
So, there you have it. I need your help. Please comment below with your idea(s) for vegetarian Thanksgiving appetizers. You’re short on time? Just give me the name of it and I’ll google it. Have some extra time? Give me the full-blown recipe! Simply comment below.
The Franks & Beans Family–Stan, Jardin, Molly, Kim, Linda and me–wishes you and your family a very Joyful Thanksgiving!
WARNING: This blog post may be inappropriate for the squeamish. (Like me.)
I would hate to think as I advance in age that I am becoming a crochety old lady. But I have to say that Halloween used to be about Jack-o-Lanterns, ghosts that were kinda like Caspar, and more candy than you could possibly eat.
My costumes of preference were always cute (like the year I was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz) or beautiful (like the rose-selling girl I dressed as in Kindergarten). For that costume, my mom made a huge beautiful skirt of skillfully crimped red streamers, and made roses out of said streamers. It took her weeks, but when she was finished, it was magnificent. Of course, there were kids who dressed up as skeletons, half-dead soldiers and other gory things, but nothing was ever too scary.
I will admit that our costumes this year bordered on the blech. Our daughter’s BFF made us up as rotting zombies. But we were tasteful zombies, all decked out in formal ware. So, we were more funny than frightful.
In 2017, Halloween is all about the shock, and not as much about the fun. It’s been a long time coming—creeping toward us like a bloody spider made from red Jell-O.
Case in point, my last blog post was about my obsession with “Cupcake Wars” on The Food Network and the Cooking Channel, where the grossest thing you’ll see during the year is the chefs using beef jerky in cupcakes.
Now I find myself unwillingly watching “Halloween Chopped” and “Halloween Wars.” On “Chopped,” the chefs recently had to butcher eels, being forewarned that undercooked eel would be lethal to the judges. They also had to use congealed pig blood. (you were forewarned)
One of last night’s episodes of “Halloween Wars” featured a pumpkin sculpture of a slaughtered two-headed pig with vomit made from candy. Needless to say, I quickly changed to the Cooking Channel, but they were showing how to deep fry butter. All-in-all, a nauseating night for TV cooking shows.
So I’ll persevere until November 1, when the Thanksgiving and Holiday cooking shows begin to pop up to comfort me. I’ll slide right back into my safe place of pretty cookies and layer cakes and dishes of butternut squash.
Until next October…
Bwah-ha-ha!
♥,
PS: Am I really an old fuddy duddy when it comes to this gruesome and grotesque turn that Halloween has taken? You can give it to me straight. I can handle it. I’ve seen candy vomit and deep-fried butter.
At the end of a long day, I reward myself by plopping in front of the tube to binge watch Cupcake Wars on the Food Network. If you have cable or the internet, you have 24/7 access to the show.
I love watching how inventive the bakers get when told to create cupcakes with crazy combos like barbecued beef jerky, Cheez Whiz and Marshmallow Peeps.
I don’t like—but understand why—they give the bakers such a short time to complete their tasks. (I’m guessing the producers think all the panic and mayhem makes for “good TV.”) But if insufficient time is a problem, imagine having to figure out how to incorporate tilapia into a cupcake (no lie, that was really an ingredient on one of the episodes).
The show starts with four bakers. There are two elimination rounds and by the end, two remain to battle it out. The winner takes her or his cupcakes to some swanky event, like the celebration Mattel produced when they introduced Barbie’s new DreamHouse. The winner also gets $10,000 and I would assume, tons of PR for her or his business in her or his hometown print and digital newspapers.
The last round assigns a carpenter to each of the two finalists to come up with a party display, as well as a bunch of baker wannabes to help the finalists bake and decorate the 1,000 cupcakes. In the final minutes, everyone helps load them on to the huge display.
A winner is chosen, and the last two minutes of the show take place at the swanky party.
All lots of fun, but it leaves me wondering. What do they do with the loser’s 1,000 cupcakes?
I did a little online research, starting with the Food Network and Cooking Channel websites (Fun Fact: they are sister networks). But where I really got the scoop was on websites like HuffPost,mediamikes.com, and Natalie Slater’s bakeanddestroy.com. Slater was a judge on the pilot, and on her website’s FAQs, answers the question that, apparently I’m not the only one asking:
“My grandpa wanted to know what we did with all those cupcakes. The ones that didn’t go to the Alma Awards were eaten by the cast and crew. Yeah, that’s right. We ate them. We’re on a show called Cupcake Wars! We obviously enjoy eating cupcakes!”
Professional pastry chef Val Anne Hielte Welch was on FN’s Cake Challenge in 2010 and though she’s never been on Cupcake Wars, she does have some insight: “I can’t answer for certain, but the winner’s cake (on Cake Challenge) of course went to the person that it was for. The rest of the cakes (we came in second place) went right into giant trash cans. I was horrified by that because I hate to see perfectly good food wasted. I inquired why they couldn’t have been donated to a food bank or a homeless shelter, and they told me that liability issues prevent them from doing that.”
So what kinds of cupcakes do you like to bake? One of my BFFs makes German Chocolate cupcakes for me, using Mounds Bars. Seriously, I have no words. And that is highly unusual for me.
♥,
PS: So now that I’ve written my blog post about high calorie food, I’m going to promo our next event, set for Oct 18, and featuring Certified ClinicalHypnotist KatherineNuyens. Ironically, after a 5-course meal at Illiano’s in Medford, all guests will choose one food they’d like to completely eliminate from their diet. Choose anything, sweet or savory. Oreos? Pasta? Candy cigarettes? Katherine will then put us into a light trance to make that happen.
And what will I choose to eliminate on Oct 18? You can bet it won’t be cupcakes.
You may remember my last blog post aboutthe man I kept meeting in the elevator where Stan and I now live. When I’d see this man, my neighbor, he’d never smile. When I had my dog Fred with me, he’d crack a half smile at him, but that was it.
Well guess what? His name is Craig.
And here’s how I found out.
Stan and I were babysitting for his sister’s dog last week while she and her husband were in Iceland. (Fun Fact: Did you know that Iceland is green and Greenland is icy?) Anyway, while they were gone, little Casper would ride the elevator with Fred and I when it was time for their walks.
One time, when we boarded the elevator, the-man-who-never-smiled was in there. And guess what? He smiled! He also spoke! He said with a chuckle, “So you have two now!” I laughed and told him we were babysitting for the little white dog. By then, it was time to depart the elevator.
Casper and her parents are now home together, safe and sound.
Yesterday, Fred and I boarded the elevator, and there was the mystery man, again. We said hi to each other and exchanged some quick pleasantries (already an improvement!) and as we were getting off, I asked, “What’s your name?” He said, “Craig.” I said, “Mine’s Tobi.”
We smiled, and went on our merry separate ways.
So to everyone who commented with your helpful advice, Craig, Fred and I thank you.
With lots of ♥,
PS: This month, we’ve got two events to look forward to! This coming Thursday evening, Sept 14 is our next Painting Dinner with Artist & InstructorSusan Roop. On Tuesday evening, Sept 19, we’re doing anotherPsychic Dinner with Psychic Medium Judy Dingler.
Only 8 tix left for Painting and 7 tix left for Psychic. Don’t miss out! Hoping to see you!
The question, “What do people really do in elevators?” is…
A provocative question
The headline of an award-winning brochure I wrote for a client several years ago
Both
It’s both.
So, “What do people really do in elevators?”…
…Nothing.
I’m guessing you’ve experienced this.
I certainly have.
As many of you know, my husband and I recently downsized and moved into an apartment. It’s a new community, so our building is only half occupied. That means that I either ride the elevator with him, alone, or with my dog Fred. When it’s just Fred and me in the elevator, the conversation is typically one-sided with me telling him what a good and handsome boy he is and how much I love him.
Once in a while, as he and I wait for the elevator to arrive, the doors open, and there’s another rider in there. You can tell who the dog lovers are and aren’t.
When the doors open and a dog person sees him, he or she will light up. They will tell him what a good and handsome boy he is. Needless to say, Fred is developing quite the ego.
When the elevator doors open, and the first thing to cross the threshold is Fred’s nose, the ones who are not dog people will jump back. I feel terrible about this, but Fred needs to take a potty break, so we get in anyway. By the end of the ride, that person is hopefully not still up against the wall on tippy toes.
When I enter the elevator alone, either the passenger who’s already inside will strike up a conversation, or I will. It begins with, “which floor are you on?” or “when did you move in?” The Q & A is just long enough to take one of us to our destination floor and say a quick goodbye.
But there is one guy who lives in my building who rides the elevator in silence. He doesn’t smile either. He’s silent when I’m alone or with Fred. It’s uncomfortable. And though I am a social person, I can’t seem to bring myself to strike up a conversation with him, making the trip up or down even more awkward.
So I am asking you for your help. What would you say to this man if you were to get onto the elevator with him?
What have you said when you’ve ridden elevators with others? Please use the Comment section below.
Your responses will really help me out!
With lots of ♥,
PS: We bid a sad farewell to Jules Thin Crust. They will soon be closing. We are looking forward to partying at our next destination, The Silver Diner. All the details are here.
As many of you know, we moved about two weeks ago, so we’re still feeling our way around our new neighborhood and the surrounding area. That means getting comfortable with a new grocery store, pharmacy and PetSmart.
Here we were on our first day in our new home, and our daughter Jardin came down with the flu. She stuck it out for several days, allowing it to run its course. But when it became apparent that that wasn’t happening, she visited the doctor who gave her a prescription. Several days later, she still wasn’t herself, so she called the doc who gave her a list of OTC items to take—one for her cough, one for her congestion, and on and on.
I got to our new pharmacy after 9 PM, and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t finding the decongestant he recommended. I was told that it has to be purchased from the pharmacist, but the pharmacy counter was now closed. In desperation, I started searching the aisles, trying to find something—anything!—that would bring my kid some relief! And then I spotted it. Vicks VapoRubTM. Remember Vicks? That pearlescent goo in the blue jar that your mom rubbed on your chest when you were sick? So I picked up the box, read it, and there it was—all of her symptoms, and all of them addressed by Vicks. And the best part—it’s made from all natural stuff. So instead of bringing home an armload of medicines, I was hopeful we could take a step back in time with one of those time-tested natural remedies.
Sure enough, it helped her cough, congestion, aches and probably some other things I wasn’t even aware of.
As it turns out, you can find an entire list of issues Vicks can help, on the website eDrugsearch.com. In its article, “20 Brilliant Ways to Use Vicks VapoRubTM,” Vicks can be used as a:
Mosquito repellent
Earache remedy
Treatment for nail fungus
Sinus headache alleviant
And believe it or not, a cat pee deterrent
There are so many other natural remedies that are low-cost and available. According to the website PositiveHealthWellness.com, there are “7 Natural Cures for Ear Infections”including:
Garlic Oil
Apple Cider Vinegar
Tea Tree Oil
And even Breast Milk
And if you want to go to the source of all things natural that can help alleviate a litany of ailments, check out Aromatherapy. Based on the essential oils of plants (which is what you’ll find in Vicks), Aromatherapy is dispensed as oil that can be released in the air, used topically, and in some cases, taken internally. Mt. Laurel’s Essential Lightworker Bridget Papagno says, “One oil I like to work with is called Helichrysum. I use it in nine of my blends.”
Papagno blends Helichrysum Oil with other oils, (in some cases Peppermint, in other cases Rosemary, Cedarwood or Citrus), to create blends to use for:
After Sun Soother
Youth in a Bottle (sign me up!)
Skin Nourisher
Post Workout Blend
Blemish Reducer
Razor Relief Serum
Energize and Uplift
Fatigue Be Gone
Breathe Easy
And that’s just what she can do with one oil! Personally, I have always been fascinated with Aromatherapy, and relied on it for nausea when I was pregnant. This modality is an all-natural way to relieve distress—both physical and emotional—and all these years later, I still trust and use it.
What are your favorite tried-and-true all-natural remedies? I would love to hear about them, so please be sure to comment below.
I love America with all my heart, and consider myself very patriotic. I am indebted to my grandparents who came and settled here because of the freedom and beauty we enjoy. The freedom that our veterans—then and now—have secured for us. And the freedoms that many living in other countries, are profoundly lacking.
I am grateful for my liberty every day, but on the 4th of July, I am even more grateful because I get a sense that we’re all in it together. That wherever you go, you see flags; red, white and blue banners, and decorations. It truly makes my heart swell.
I was a patriotic child, too. But I experienced dread and extreme discomfort surrounding the 4th of July. The discomfort was never based in disloyalty, but in fear.
My parents always took my sister Molly and I to the fireworks on Independence Day, and every year, my trepidation grew. The noises scared me badly, especially when the booms would pound through my body. I was also frightened by the large crowds. To be perfectly honest, I could never understand what the appeal of the fireworks was.
On one 4th of July in particular, already rattled from the evening’s “festivities,” we arrived home, and as I mounted the front steps, a firecracker exploded at my feet. That was it for me. No more fireworks.
My family would still go to the fireworks every year, but my parents allowed me to stay safely in the car and watch from the windows with my fingers in my ears. They and my sister were stationed outside the car, guarding me, and enjoying the display.
When I was a teen, I’d go with my friends to the fireworks because that’s what you did on the 4th of July. I considered myself lucky that the explosives were launched after dark—and that my friends were mesmerized by what they were watching in the sky. It meant they weren’t paying attention to me, knees tightly locked to my chest, and fingers in my ears. What was it about those damned fireworks that everyone loved so much?
Every year, I dreaded the 4th of July.
Then I met this really nice guy named Stan who eventually became my husband. God truly does work in mysterious ways, because Stan LOVES the 4th of July more than anyone I know, and more than any other holiday. He LIVES for fireworks. His birthday is July 7, and he considers the 4th his own personal kickoff day. Case in point, back in the early 70s, his family lived in California where the sale of fireworks were legal. His fondest memory of his Bar Mitzvah is that his parents purchased and set off fireworks to celebrate.
So there I was again, going to see the fireworks on the 4th of July, while everyone was in the best mood, and I was freaked out (but had to appear as if I was holding it all together). While we were watching, my fingers firmly in my ears, Stan would shout out to me what he was seeing. He told me about the reds, the purples and the blues and the yellows that he was seeing. I found that to be fascinating! He really saw all those colors?
And there it was.
I finally understood. People go to fireworks to see the beautiful colors, in addition to the formations, in the sky. As a woman who was born colorblind, I never realized that fireworks were colorful. NOW it all made sense. That’s why the people who come, put up with the noise and the crowds.
After that night, I gave myself permission to never have to go to a fireworks display again. Ever.
And now, no matter how or where we celebrate the 4th of July, it is my pleasure to hustle everyone out of my house (or hustle home if I’m at someone else’s house) and watch Stan and whomever accompanies him, go off to see the fireworks.
I crank up the air conditioning, scoop the ice cream, turn on the TV, and snuggle with my pets. It is my personal time and I get to do whatever I want. And most importantly, I don’t have to be subjected to deafening noises and celebratory crowds.
And now, I’m not just in awe of this holiday, I finally can say that I love it.
And now I understand what the fuss with fall leaves is all about. But that’s another story for another day…
♥,
PS: What’s your favorite holiday, and why? Is there a holiday you don’t like? I’d love to hear about it, so please comment below.
Just when I thought I’d learned everything I could possibly learn from selling my stuff on Facebook…I ended up learning more.
To get you up to speed, my hubby Stan and I are downsizing and moving to a lovely apartment community. But we don’t want to shoehorn our stuff into our brand new place. So we’re donating some of it; and selling some of it on Craig’s List (Stan’s job) and some of it on Facebook (my job).
I can’t begin to tell you how much pleasure I derive from someone finally getting her or his hands on something they’ve been needing or wanting for a really long time, for a really low price. It makes them happy and it makes me happy. But don’t for a moment think that everyone out there is nice. Many are not. You’ll see at the end of this post, how I progressed from Good Guy to Bad Ass while I learned that:
Some people have been searching for YEARS for something that’s been collecting dust in your home. Someone came to my home for purposes other than buying my stuff. She spotted an item and asked if it was for sale. I said yes, and she was delighted because she’d been searching for this discontinued piece for ten years! Boy, was SHE happy. And so was I.
Some items can lie dead in the water while others can create a major frenzy. Who would have thought my set of Mikasa dishes could generate well over 20 requests?
You have to watch your words. While doing an internet search to get an idea of how to price a red metal rocking chair, I Googled “metal rocker” and could not for the life of me, understand why these guys kept coming up. Eventually, I “got” it. Duh…
Buyers want something, but not necessarily for the reasons you’d think. Remember the aforementioned Mikasa dishes? It’s service for 16, complete with hostess pieces. Yet the person who purchased the entire set only wanted it for the cups, saucers and dessert plates. I just found that to be really interesting!
People ask the most surprising questions. A woman was inquiring about our large wrap-around sectional sofa with built-in recliners and queen foldout. She asked if we’d deliver.
When mama’s gotta have it, she’s gotta have it. One mother of 5 packed up the kids and high-tailed it here, to purchase an item. She begged me to mark the item ‘SOLD’ on Facebook while she was on her way. (Spoiler alert: Here’s where my Bad Assery begins.) I had already learned that you don’t mark anything ‘SOLD’ until it’s sold. So to make sure she got here in time, she kept me posted on her whereabouts, texting me every time she turned onto the next road. I begged her to be careful and to stop texting me because she had her kids in the car! She finally got here, took a look and…you guessed it, declined.
Some people are downright mean. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m human, and I make mistakes. And as a newbie selling stuff on Facebook, I’m learning the rules of the road as I go along. A woman, we’ll call her Henrietta, had the misfortune of encountering me at the very beginning of my journey. Here’s my crime: I forgot that on the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend, I’d promised Henrietta that she could pick up a $5 candle holder on the Tuesday after Memorial Day Weekend.
On Tuesday, she sent me a Facebook PM, asking when she could pick up her $5 candle holder. I apologized profusely, telling her I’d made a mistake and sold it to someone else, just the day before. That woman chastised me, berated me and reminded me that I am a business owner in the community so I’d better watch my step. That last one was creepy because it meant she’d “looked me up.” I was extremely distressed, and asked her what I could do to make it up to her. Her request was absurd.
Next thing you know, a Facebook Friend spotted this person badmouthing me on that Facebook yard sale site! I wasn’t tagged correctly, so I would never have known about it were it not for my Facebook Friend. Henrietta had posted her poison on two different places on that site, and people started ganging up on me! All for a $5 candle holder! My Facebook Friend and other friends who saw it, gave me equal time with their lovely comments, and one of them had the presence of mind to tag the admins, who promptly took down the offending posts.
Will this incident stop me from continuing to post our stuff on Facebook yard sale sites? Hell no!
And here’s the happy ending: the gentleman who actually purchased that $5 candle holder did so for his 20-something, profoundly disabled daughter. They are moving into a new apartment together so he can properly care for her. I am grateful that my candle holder will help brighten their new home. And before we’d let him leave, Stan and I put together some items we hoped his daughter might enjoy. As the man reached into his pocket, we said no.
Because you can’t put a price tag on how it feels to make someone else smile.
♥,
PS: I’d love to hear about your Facebook online yard sale adventures! Please post them in the comment section below.
Like many Baby Boomers, Stan and I are finally able to downsize. We are truly blessed with two remarkable children, one of whom is a success and the other, who is on her way to becoming one. So now, it’s “Our Time.” (Not the dating service. It’s literally our time.)
Right now, my project is to go through our stuff, pretending it all belongs to someone other than us (so I can easily part with it), and guessing whether it might be of value to someone other than us.
Then, I post it all on Facebook.
Here are 4 quick examples of my posts:
1. For a cubic zirconia ring: “We’re downsizing and we just can’t fit this in our new home!”
2. For this Vitameatavegamin bottle: “This Vitameatavegamin bottle is sealed, never opened, filled with my husband’s favorite candy: Red Hots. I used to have to slap his hand every time he reached for this adorable replica. It’s now at least 15 years old, so he’s no longer tempted.”#downsizing#brandnewlife#stilllovelucy
And another post, at the expense of my (really quite caring) husband:
3. For a vase: “HUBBY NEVER GIVES ME FLOWERS! Must sell Waterford vase!”#brandnewlife#downsizing
And then there’s the one I posted just for fun:
4. For clothing: “Post-menopausal woman needs to sell all her turtlenecks.”#downsizing#brandnewlife
But it’s not all about the posting. It’s also about the learning. Because we never really stop learning. So here’s what I’ve learned:
Some people will come to your house to buy something for 5 bucks, just to get a glimpse at how other people live. They view that $5 as their price of admission into your home.
People who buy Lucy collectibles aren’t necessarily buying it because it’s Lucy. One woman who is doing a wine room in her home, came to look at this “Lucy’s Italian Movie” ornament. That’s the episode where she stomped the grapes. (Did you know she nearly died in that episode? It’s true. If you want to know what happened, ask me in the comment section below.)
Having posted so many Lucy things, I finally learned how to spell Vitameatavegamin.
Some people are very afraid of dogs. Others loved mine so much, they offered to buy him along with that piece of Lenox they originally came for.
Some people come from far away, only to take one look and leave, but could have saved themselves the trip had they asked me one simple question.
Everybody has a story to tell. And, if you let them, they’ll tell it. One really nice lady spent about 20 minutes here. By the time she left with her merchandise, she’d told my daughter and I about her significant weight loss, her six children, what they’re being punished for, where she works (both jobs) and where she lives.
Everybody comes with someone else who never leaves the car. Usually it’s for their protection. But not for one woman who stopped by to purchase some things before taking her son to urgent care. Gotta admit—I would have opted for urgent care first.
As I said to one of my dearest friends, “Downsizing is not for the faint of heart.”
But if you find the humor in things—certainly not everything, but a lot of things—you might just be able to live through it.
At our April Franks & Beans Event, I had the opportunity to speak with two of our “regulars”—Megan Agnew and Claudia Cream.
We chatted about how much easier it is to come to an event alone than many women think.
Now a wife, mom and surgical nurse, Megan told us that she started traveling solo when she was in her 20s, right after tragedy struck her life. Heartbroken from the death of her fiancé, Megan decided to get away. She hopped a tour bus to the Baltimore Inner Harbor, and upon departure from the bus, waited in line to get her hotel room assignment.
The passenger ahead of Megan seemed to have a complaint about just about everything. As the weary tour operated politely listened and tried to help, Megan motioned that she was going to give him more time with the complainer, and step out of line for a cup of coffee.
By the time she got back, the disgruntled woman was gone, and Megan handed over a second cup of coffee to the tour operator. He was pleasantly surprised and very much appreciated her gesture, especially because of what he’d just been through. He looked on his roster and noticed that Megan had the tiniest room in the hotel. He offered her a suite. Who wouldn’t say yes to that?! Megan accepted and enjoyed the rest of her trip.
Back to the present, Megan told Claudia and me that the coffee was merely a gesture because she felt bad for the guy. But to him, it was more than a gesture. It was a bit of grace in an otherwise long and exhausting day. It meant so much to him, that he showed his appreciation in a way that he was able. The coffee was no big deal to her. The suite was no big deal to him. But to each of them, it was a well-needed lift in their respective days.
Claudia summed it up perfectly, “It just goes to show you. A little bit of grace goes a long way.” And Megan and I agreed.
Question: Have you ever participated in a random act of kindness? Have you ever had one bestowed upon you? Please comment in the section below.
Just a couple of months ago, on Jan 29, we got together for the Annual Cassell Family Hanukkah Party. Unconventional? Yes. But in our family it makes perfect sense.
This January Hanukkah gathering is entering its third decade, and has its roots in retail. Since several members of the family have or had retail stores through the years, December never worked for us. So we’ve always happily extended our holiday season into the New Year.
It’s hosted by my husband Stan’s sister, Debbie Cassell (pronounced “Castle”), and started in her tiny studio apartment in Philadelphia. Back then, there was only one grandchild. This year’s, and many before it, was in Debbie’s large South Jersey home that she shares with her husband, Dan. It’s a good thing, because the family has grown significantly, with great-grandchildren now in the mix.
The Cassell matriarch and patriarch were Tillie and Jack. Sadly, both are gone now. But the Hanukkah Party (Tillie’s favorite holiday—Jack’s was Passover) lives on. And on Jan 29, it had a special meaning because Debbie chose a theme—an “All Tillie & Jack Menu.” No brisket and potato pancakes at this one, though. You’ve probably never even heard of most of the dishes that were served that day because Tillie and Jack took pride in their kitchen creativity. These recipes served the family of six through the lean years but also when times finally got better. They were the glue that held them together through 13 moves, spread over 10 different states. With all that moving, the four Cassell kids stopped bothering to make friends because they knew the next move was coming. They just didn’t know when.
So on Jan 29, we celebrated with “Orange Spaghetti,” “Chinese Barbecue Chicken,” “Spice Cake with Raisins” (which no matter what trick Tillie used, always ended up on the bottom), “Sweet Kugel,” “Farmer’s Chopped Suey,” “Strawberries & Sour Cream,” and “Spaghetti & Meat Sauce.”
The Stan Cassell Branch was assigned “Tillie’s Frozen Angel Food Hershey’s Whipped Cream Cake,” which tastes as good as it sounds. Our daughter Jardin was home from college for the weekend to celebrate, so the night before, she, Stan and I made the cake together. Because there are so many of us now, we made two. Tillie never wrote down her recipe (and we’d never made it before), so relying on Stan & Debbie’s sister Faye’s ratio of ingredients, we got started. Along the way, Stan, Jardin and I reminisced and had a lot of fun. Tillie was there guiding us. No doubt in our minds.
And both Tillie and Jack were there with us at that Hanukkah party, just as they are at every Hanukkah (and Passover) celebration.
With ♥,
PS: If you’d like any of Tillie & Jack’s recipes, please request them in the comment section below. And/or tell me about your family’s recipes! What were your favorites?
Did you know that today is “Middle-Aged Ladies’ Day?”
Well, it is!
There is finally a day where we don’t have to be embarrassed by a little chin hair. Or a root line that used to be solidly brunette but now has some gray strands. Or a little bit more middle-aged middle.
And there’s finally a day when we celebrate US and our well-earned:
Wisdom
Smile lines
Unwillingness to take anyone’s crap, whether it’s our mate’s, children’s, boss’ or client’s
Permission to ourselves to have ice cream for dinner every once in a while
Opportunity to shop at clothing stores that are smart enough to have vanity sizing
Happiness derived, not so much from material things, but from the love and support of family members and/or friends who know exactly what to say to make you feel better when you’re feeling down
Many honor-days like Middle-Aged Ladies’ Day are created by marketers who want to sell everything from peanuts to pickles to Valentines. But not this one.
This one was created by me. A middle-aged lady. And guess what? Middle-Aged Ladies’ Day is everyday. Why? Because WE deserve it.
♥,
PS: Is there an honor-day you’d like to create? Tell me about it in the comment section below!
PPS: Exercise is important, especially for us middle-aged ladies. Click here for a Free 14 Day Pass to Cherry Hill Health and Racquet Club.
As a member of that community, I never understood why. After all, my father (the “Frank” of Franks & Beans) had Airforce wings tattooed on his inside forearm. Reason: he served proudly as an aerial photographer and staff sergeant in WWII. But it’s said that if you bear a tattoo, you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Yet thankfully, my dad now rests peacefully in one.
While discussing this with my dear friend Brian, a scholar of the Catholic faith, he decided to get to the bottom of the debate, and found the answer in the Torah: “You shall not etch a tattoo on yourselves.” (Leviticus 19:28)
Well that pretty much says it all. Or does it? What’s the ‘why?’
Three plausible explanations appear on Chabad.org. The most profound interpretation (in my opinion) is: “The human body is G-d’s creation, and it is therefore unbefitting to mutilate G-d’s handiwork.”
That makes sense. And, it led me to think that perhaps purposely getting a tattoo might be considered a reminder of the unspeakable atrocities of the Holocaust. During that horrific time, victims were tattooed as a degrading way of identifying them. Those vile revisionists can say whatever they want, but the Holocaust was real, and the inked numbers on victims’ inside wrists are just one piece within an entire body of evidence.
Yet despite all this, when my daughter Jardin announced her plan to get a tattoo, I accepted her decision.
First, at 20 years old, Jardin is an adult. She works and saved her money to pay for that tattoo, and doesn’t need my permission anymore.
But the second reason is something that spoke to my heart. About four years ago, Jardin met a young woman named Vicki who changed her life in a number of positive ways. Jardin was Vicki’s most trusted babysitter, and when Vicki was transferred to open the Cherry Hill location of Jules Pizza, Jardin was her first hire. It was Jardin’s first “real” job, and she still works there to this day. Vicki and Jardin became friends and confidants, and the three of us joked that Vicki was Jardin’s “work mom.” I could not have chosen a more beautiful soul to be my daughter’s work mom. Sadly and very suddenly, Vicki passed away. It was about two years ago. And it was devastating, to say the least.
Jardin’s dorm room at Rowan University is decorated by posters of rock bands and family pictures. Among them are pictures of Vicki.
Jardin chose to get a tattoo as her remembrance to Vicki. So now, she proudly sports a slice of pizza in an innocuous but hidden place (hidden because she plans on becoming a teacher, and can’t have a tattoo that shows). Just under the point of the slice is a bold, stylized “V” for Vicki.
A slice of pizza sounds like a trivial tattoo, but the reasons behind it are anything but. And I’m okay with it.
RIP, beautiful Vicki.
♥,
PS: Do you have a tattoo? What is it and why did you choose it? Please use the comment section below.
PPS: (Sponsored) As always, exercise is important, but especially if you’re trying to shed some December holiday pounds. Click here for a Free 14 Day Pass to Cherry Hill Health and Racquet Club.
It’s a new year and everyone likes to eat, so let’s take a look at emerging culinary trends for 2017.
Here’s an excerpted edition of the article, “Ten cutting-edge food trends for 2017”by Monica Watrous. The predictions are courtesy of Liz Moskow, culinary director at ad agency Sterling-Rice Groupof Colorado. Sterling-Rice specializes in the food industry.
1. Food waste frenzy: Consumers and companies alike are creatively reducing food waste by repurposing typically tossed-out stems, skins and rinds.
“This is driven by millennials’ desire to make the earth a better place,” Ms. Moskow said. “They’re finding ways to repurpose and use things that would ordinarily be discarded. For example, watermelon rinds being made into pickles, or making cauliflower rice using the stem, something that ordinarily would end up in the garbage.”
A company called Forager Project has identified a use for the wasted pulp from production of cold-pressed juices — by manufacturing organic tortilla chips containing the nutritious byproduct.
2. Plant butchery: Chickpeas, corn, legumes and fungi are standing in for steaks in an emerging crop of butcher shops with products designed to appeal to vegans and carnivores alike.
“Plant butchery really focuses in on the fact that meat eaters are exploring plant-based options,” Ms. Moskow said. “There are actually places popping up that are catering to this plant-based-curious group of people who don’t want to eliminate meat from their diet but might want to eat it less often.”
3. Dosha Dining: The remarkable rise of turmeric as a trending ingredient in recent years has become a gateway to American exploration of Ayurveda.
“Indians believe in the concept of dosha, which is another word for your body’s set constitution,” Ms. Moskow said. “Turmeric has really been picking up steam and trending over the past couple years. People have widely accepted turmeric is this magic food. And that’s really the holy grail of Ayurveda; for every dosha, turmeric is a good balancing additive for food.”
4. Mocktail mixology: Mocktails are getting a modern makeover, with such offerings featuring fresh-pressed juices, flavored teas, sipping vinegars and muddled herbs and spices.
“People watch mixologists muddle herbs, and it feels like a special treat rather than ordering a ginger ale or club soda,” Ms. Moskow said. “And so we feel restaurants are going to start offering more robust menus — not just one or two little things on the side of their drink menu…
5. Cook and connect: Likened to businesses like Uber and Airbnb, a new app and web site called EatWith connects home cooks with hungry strangers.
“This is really all about people craving interaction in an increasingly disconnected world,” Ms. Moskow said. “Food to me has always been a way to bring people together. (The concept of EatWith) is definitely a more personalized version of a food hall, a more one-on-one experience where you can meet the person in their home when they cook you dinner.”
What food trends are you predicting for 2017? What do you think of the “Cook and Connect” trend? What do you think of all five trends listed here? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and Happy New Year!
♥,
Tobi
PS: Food is important to your good health. And so is exercise. Click here for a Free 14-Day Club Pass from the Cherry Hill Health and Racquet Club.
My son Richard is all grown up. He’s got a career, an apartment in Brooklyn and a smart and beautiful girlfriend whom we love. Best of all, he pays his own bills.
But before all of that happened, and even before his sister Jardin was born, he and I had a yearly tradition. We’d go to bed in our clothes on Thanksgiving night, and wake up at 4 AM on Black Friday, brush our teeth and be on our way with our pre-packed breakfast.
But not everyone shares our former level of zeal for the Queen of all shopping days. A survey conducted in early October by BestBlackFriday.com found that 35.13% of those asked “hate” Black Friday! Just 14.7% love it and 50.70% neither love or hate it. They said it’s merely “okay.”
Let’s go back to the 90s, when Richard and I really had a good time on those Black Fridays. We’d bring the store circulars with us so we could peruse them while waiting in line, and ended up sharing them with our fellow bargain hunters. It felt like we were all in it together, and it really was fun! But it’s all fun and games until someone gets killed, and tragically, that is exactly what happened. On Black Friday, 2008 an employee at a Long Island Wal-Mart died after being trampled in a Black Friday stampede. Four people were injured, including a pregnant woman. And literally overnight, Black Friday’s reputation changed.
Either in an attempt at safety, or just for the love of money (probably the latter), this shopping day has now become an industry all its own. What used to fatten up Thanksgiving Day daily newspapers is now also handled electronically with websites like: BestBlackFriday.com, TheBlackFriday.com and bfads.net.
If you do the Black Friday thing, be sure to read Consumer Reports’Top 10 Black Friday Shopping Tips for 2016.
But before you do, tell me where you stand on Black Friday. Do you go out with the same family members or friends every year? Do you have a nice warm breakfast at a local diner after you finish up at your first store? Or do you just sit it out at home? Please let me know in the Comments below!
♥,
PS: Looking for a healthy way to lose weight before the holidays? Try A FREE 14-day trial pass at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club! Click here for details.
Be sure to visit Lynda Kane (Aenigma), Linda Estilow (Tupperware), Bertha White (Mary Kay) and Shelley Licknack (Origami Owl) at their vendor tables at our Nov 17 Women’s Expo. Click here for tickets.
Please share this contest info–Model A and Model B need names before Nov 17!
Winners will be chosen by the 2016 Women’s Expo Committee. The Franks & Beans staff, members of the committee and their families are not eligible to win.
Is it the sultry Carly Simon? The romantic yet environmentally responsible Joni Mitchell? Or the prolific and “how does she know what I’m thinking?” Carole King?
Obviously, mine is Carole King. I have adored her since I discovered Tapestry. I was a high school sophomore at the time, and you’ll never believe how I got my copy. But not right now; later on. I promise…
I love ALL of King’s music on ALL of her albums. I didn’t just buy in a forward direction (1971’s Music, 1972’s Rhymes & Reasons, 1973’s Fantasy, 1974’s Wrap Around Joy….), but I also bought backward (King’s pre-Tapestry album Writer, and 45s of her hits from The Brill Building). And with every new album I bought, I loved her even more.
Carole King comforted me after break-ups, energized me while folding laundry, inspired me when I had to write a boring paper, and lifted me when I finally got my driver’s license and could take to the highway with the windows rolled down and my long brown hair waving out the driver’s side. I’m listening to “Sweet Seasons” right now! I relate to her and Gerry Goffin’s lyrics, and was and still am even more moved by her melodies and mind-blowing arrangements.
So in 2008, just before the book “Girls Like Me” was released, I contacted Atria Publishers to get a review copy. I read it—devoured it, really. Then I asked for an interview with its author for Girlfriendz Magazine, which I was publishing at the time. They said yes! SHE said yes! And it turned out to be one of my very favorite interviews for Girlfriendz. I never forgot how kind and giving Sheila Weller was during our talk, nor the depths of her research for her books and magazine articles. I truly never forgot about that, which is why 8 years later, it was Sheila Weller who I wanted to shine the spotlight on at my long-awaited Women’s Expo—an expo I have wanted to produce since 2010.
So yes, this is a pitch for my 2016 Women’s Expo on Nov 17! And can you blame me? I have been waiting for this for a very long time!
So please join us! My remarkable team and I have been working on this since January to make it a truly enjoyable night with lots of fun (and delicious) surprises!
Click here now to get your tickets. Only $10, but the price goes up on Nov 7. It’s the ultimate Girls’ Night Out! Come and buy Sheila’s books and she’ll sign them for you! And bring your significant other, armed with your Wish List because we’re featuring a Boutique Marketplace with more than 45 vendors.
I can’t freaking WAIT!
Oh, and how did I get my copy of Tapestry way back in 1971? I promise to tell you at the expo. 😉
♥,
PS: Vote in the comment section below for your favorite: Carole King, Carly Simon or Joni Mitchell. And tell me why. It’ll be a lot less stressful than the upcoming vote on Nov 8. And PLEASE vote on Nov 8.
PPS: Looking for a healthy way to lose weight before the holidays? Try A FREE 14-day trial pass at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club! Click here for details.
I am different because I am colorblind. Only one in 200 women are.
But that’s not all.
It’s a family thing, so my sister and cousin are, my nephew and son are, and our dad, grandfathers and some uncles were. Plus, as our family grows, I’m sure there will soon be many little colorblind kids running around at holiday dinners.
The most asked question when people find out: “What color is this?”
StopIt!
No, I’m just joking. My relatives and I are okay with it. We know it’s an amusing party game for those of you with normal color vision.
There are so many of us in our family, that when we get together, those who are colorblind outnumber those who are not. It’s kind of crazy, but if I had to choose between that and hemophilia—the genetic disorder that is passed down in the same way—well, you know which I’d choose.
My deficiency is something you can’t see when you look at me. Unless we meet up and I’m wearing something mismatched. So if that ever happens, you’ll understand why. Or if you tell me, “Look at that redhead in the green sweater,” and I stare back at you blankly, you’ll understand why.
But now there is help! And I’m not talking about the gazillion dollar glasses to correct colorblindness. I’m talking about free apps that anyone with a smartphone can access to help with makeup and clothing matching!
Their website says: “ShadeScout® is a cosmetics color search app that instantly finds makeup matching any color you see! Spot a color that you’d wear if it were a shade of lipstick or eyeshadow? Wish you knew which blush a celebrity is wearing in the latest issue of your favorite magazine? Capture the color with your mobile device, then see how it looks on you in real time with ShadeScout!”
Their website describes this app as “The Swiss Army Knife of style assistants.” It is a truly robust tool because besides helping people like me match up what’s in their closets, there are many other uses. Just one of them, according to their website: “At a glance you can see when items and outfits were last worn, what they cost, and how much value you’re getting from them.”
Too bad these things weren’t around when I was single. But then smartphones weren’t around when I was single. I am very grateful that my husband and daughter have normal color vision because they help me put my outfits together. But only when they’re home. So excuse me while I start downloading some apps…
~~~~~
Any other colorblind women out there? Please comment if you are, or if you have a funny story about a colorblind man or woman you know.
♥
PS: Looking for a healthy way to lose weight before the holidays? Try A FREE 30-day fitness study at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club! It includes personalized fitness assessments and group training with South Jersey’s finest fitness consultants. Click here for more info. Registration ends 9/30, only 50 slots available!
And we’re not alone. The average American woman has 103 items of clothing in her closet—more than enough to put together outfits for any occasion—but she considers 21% to be “unwearable,” 33% to be too tight and 24% too loose. The info comes from a recent survey of 1,000 US women commissioned by ClosetMaid, a leading provider of home storage and organization.
And that’s not all! Twelve-percent of her wardrobe is comprised of new, unworn clothing, leaving just 10% available. And 10% isn’t much of a selection.
Of those surveyed, 10% say they feel depressed when they open their closet, and 47% admit they struggle to pick out an outfit before heading to work.
One in four confess that her clothes storage space is completely disorganized, and when faced with it, over 60% opt to buy new clothing. And, shhh, one in six will sneak an item out of the dirty laundry.
So I asked a local expert for some advice. Gina Rongone-Haring is a LuLaRoe Fashion Consultant, who told me, “The first rule is to know and accept your size. It’s only a number or letter, it doesn’t define you. And, you’ll find wearing the correct size will flatter your figure.”
Gina also recommends:
Find the colors that compliment you. Black and white solids are great staples, but don’t be afraid of a color that suits you. I myself lean towards aqua, red, or purple.
Solids are great, including color blocks (two different solids worn together). They’re perfect for accentuating a fun pattern.
Don’t be afraid to pattern-match. It’s fun and, when done correctly, creates a great conversation starter.
Experiment with the many ways you can wear one piece of clothing. That cute form-fitting skirt might also be a great top or even an infinity scarf. The LuLaRoe “Cassie” skirt can do all of that, but she recommends you also test out pieces you already own.
Experiment with the staples. Be daring and pull the waistband of a skirt up to your ribs to create an empire effect!
Embrace the belt. Not necessarily around your waist, but higher or lower on your torso. The trick is to do what’s fun, fashionable and above all, comfortable.
Ever tried leggings? Do it! But be sure to wear them correctly. Always cover the lady parts with a long shirt or a dress. They’re fun with boots and perfect for fall. When done correctly, they really are a wardrobe must-have.
Adds Gina, “Don’t be afraid to try something new. Sometimes how it looks on the hanger might not be how it looks on you. When in doubt try it out!”
Have you ever had the “bursting clothes closet dilemma?” How did you attack it? Please share in the comments below.
Hope to see you soon at one of our events!
♥
PS: Want to look better in your clothes? Try A FREE 30-day fitness study at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club! It includes personalized fitness assessments and group training with South Jersey’s finest fitness consultants. Click here for more info. Registration ends 9/30, only 50 slots available!
PPS: For tips on the dreaded sort-out, check out this blog post from Barbara Berman, Founder and Owner of BB’s Clutter Solutions.
PPPS: Gina Rongone-Haring launches her new line on Sat, Sept 17: 4-7pm and Sun, Sept 18: 10am-1pm at Volume Café, 5600 Black Horse Pike, Washington Township, NJ 08012 (Behind the Arby’s)
How many times have you been to a party, standing in front of someone, and no words come out? From either of your mouths?
Thanks to one of my favorite blogs, PureWow, I now know five things to say to lift the awkwardness. I’m borrowing three of them (with a bonus fourth at the end of this article), and adding my own thoughts. So if you want to see all five plus their explanations, click here.
“Wow, what an interesting (insert piece of clothing). Where’s it from?”
This suggested line is based on the fact that, as a whole, people like to talk about themselves. So if this line doesn’t feel right to you, try asking them what they do, where they’re from, or how they know the party host.
“What are you up to this weekend?”
As the PureWow article points out, if the party’s on a Monday or Tuesday, you need to change this question to “What did you do over the weekend?” But again, more than likely, this line of questioning will give you a hint about your conversation partner, and that can open up a whole new world of dialogue. So if she’s going to the shore, you can ask her which town is her favorite, what restaurant does she recommend, or does she know of a great bed & breakfast there?
“What’s your favorite kind of cheese?”
This usually works best when standing next to a cheese platter. And granted, it won’t work for everyone. Especially if you’re talking to a person who’s lactose intolerant or vegan. But then again, either of those scenarios opens up another line of questioning. As long as you don’t mind hearing about her GI tract.
Probably the best suggestion this article has is a good exit line. What can you say when you are so bored that you just HAVE to break away? Here are some suggestions….
“Can you excuse me? To be continued!”
“Gasp! There’s someone I’ve been trying to get in touch with. Be right back!”
“Forgive me but I REALLY have to go to the bathroom!” Too much information? Yes. A great way to make your escape? Yes!
What line do you use to either start a conversation or end one? Please comment below!
♥
PS: As many of you know, I’ve partnered with the Cherry Hill Health and Racquet Club. My favorite spot to work out there is the Women-Only Fitness Center. Check it out with your free 14-Day Pass.