By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
First, let me start with an apology.
I’m sure by now that just about everyone on earth knows that my sister Molly and I are colorblind, so I truly apologize if you’ve heard this about a hundred times before. Yes, we know it’s weird because just 1 in 200 women are born that way. But that is not what this blog post is about.
It’s about something that I find completely annoying, and I would venture a guess that my sisters out there with perfect color vision are annoyed by this, too. Or, maybe not. You tell me.
Here’s the thing. Typically, I don’t go clothing shopping alone because I can’t trust myself to put together a properly color-coordinated outfit. Ignore the fact that the stores put color-coordinated outfits together on those svelte mannequins because that’s not the way I dress. I’m more of a fabulous-flowy-top-from-Aenigma girl, with a skirt from Steel Pony and a scarf from Kohl’s.
And that’s where I get into trouble. Not only can’t I tell the difference between green and brown and blue and purple, it becomes pretty much impossible to shop because I can’t seem to make sense of what stores are naming their colors!
Would somebody tell me what color Rainy River is? Or how about Surf the Web? I am not making these names up. And how about Asphalt? I don’t even know what color asphalt is, so how is that supposed to identify the color family in which it lives?
Just for kicks, I decided to check out some retail color names, and here is just a sampling of what I found: Storm Haze. Palm Waters. Otter. Hazy Night. Polar Lake. Heavy Lead. Dusty. Bridge. Quail. Pristine. Rainstorm. Casper. Space Rock. Egret. Foundation. Fresh Air. Quiet Fairy. Ocean Abyss. Light Moon. Pebble. Varsity. House Stark. Dark Pepper. Rainy Day. Sparkling.
Just let that sink in.
What I find utterly absurd (and completely annoying) is Periwinkle. Is it blue? Is it purple? In this house, my two color advisors can’t seem to agree. So where does that leave me?
And it’s not just Periwinkle! Can you tell me what color Midnight is? Is it black? Is it very dark blue? Or how about Teal? Is it blue? Is it green? I think you know where I’m going with this.
Many years ago, my very dapper cousin Len designed a sophisticated system that I can only explain as Adult Garanimals. Len’s an attorney, and always leaves the house impeccably dressed and perfectly coordinated. His system works because you won’t find men’s clothing in colors like: Limoges, Castlerock, Sailor Gulf, Bright Celadon, Valen River, Midnight Jam, Poseidon, Sawyer Stream, Crayton Cove, Waterfall Lagoon, Alaskan Night, or Bartel River.
Oh. Wait. I got those names from the men’s clothing department.
Seriously.
❤,
PS: Can you take a stab at what some of those colors really are? I would love to hear your opinions! Just comment in the section below.
Hi Tobi…..14 years of art school, and raising 2 out of 3 boys who are colorblind (as my dearly departed husband was), I can be of help.
Take me shopping. Mark coordinating outfits.
Hang total outfits on one hanger.
Feel free to try any, or all of the above 🙂
Awww…thank you, Linda. I rely on Stan and our daughter Jardin for color help. And I own A LOT of black because I am told that everything goes with black. 😀
Check out paint names. I actually like them!
Care to list some? 😉
Hi Tobi!
Well, as a Color Analyst I totally understand the dilemma!
You’ll see those confusing color names with nail polish as well!
Trying to keep THIS simply, with color in hand, you’ll need to determine the base color and the others mixed in.Tough if you’re color blind, I know!
I know nothing about who makes up these names but some are obviously using the colors they see in nature like ‘pebble, egret and ocean.’ Even that would be up for debate.
Everyone sees color differently. I know that since I am exposed to that with my business. I feel companies out there are just trying to be different thinking they can grab your attention. And maybe they have!
The important thing here is does the color match your skin tone, hair, and eye color so that YOU look fabulous all of the time?!
Thanks, Patti! To be honest, I really wrote this because I always get irritated by the funny names.
I agree with you that companies come up with crazy color names just to mix things up a bit. I also agree that many of the color names come from nature. My goal has always been to figure out the base color. But I don’t know what color a pebble or an egret is to begin with! And I hate to get technical, but my eyes’ “rods” and “cones” just don’t work like the majority of peoples’. So I either grab a sales associate or shopper, never go shopping alone, or (and this is my happy default) buy yet another pair of black leggings and then purchase whatever top speaks to me, and call it a day!