The Halloween Dilemma
By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
Our kids always knew what they wanted to be for Halloween. Or at least they never outwardly pondered their costumes. As a matter of fact, our daughter Jardin would usually come home on the first day of school and announce what character she’d be bringing to life on October 31.
Back when our son Richard was still an only child, I actually had time to sew his costumes. He too always knew what persona he would take on for Halloween. When he was three, he wanted to be Peter Pan. I bought green felt and a feather, and I was on my way. The next year, he wanted to be a Ninja Turtle. No problem. More green felt and voila! If I remember correctly, he was Raphael so he could wear an “R” on his belt buckle. The following year he wanted to be Ninja Pan. That could not have been easier. We took the best from each of the previous years’ costumes and fashioned something that made him proud and happy. A lot of people questioned what he was that year, but Richard has always had a healthy sense of self, so he pulled it off without breaking a sweat.
Jardin has never identified with my “girly girl” nature which runs deep into my soul. So the last time she was a princess was when she was five and didn’t have an opinion. When Richard was one, he obviously had no opinion, so he was a Jersey tomato—complete with a Miss America-type sash that proclaimed what his costume was, just in case he prematurely pulled off his green cap.
So what’s my dilemma? This year, Stan and I have been invited to a Halloween party, and unlike our children, we are completely stumped as to what we should be.
In past years, when I was a room mom for my kids, I’d dress up like one of my idols—Lucille Ball. One year I was Chocolate Factory Lucy, another year I was Vitameatavegamin Lucy, and the year I was pregnant with Jardin, I came to Richard’s class party as Lucy with a bun in the oven.
But I think the Lucy ship has finally sailed for me.
So who do I secretly want to be? Barbie. I can’t help it. And a brand new friend of mine just gifted me with the perfect frock! (Thank you Cathleen!) It’s a a pretty pink circa 60s shirtwaist dress with a tiny waist. All I need now are big fake pointy boobs and a crinoline and I’ll be all set. Unlike my son, I don’t want to be an action figure. Unlike my daughter, I want to be something sickeningly feminine. So it’s off to Goodwill to find the rest of my outfit.
Now help me figure out whether Stan should be Ken or GI Joe. Hmmmm….which one do you think is sexier? 😉 Don’t forget to comment below. The party’s coming up fast!
October 26, 2015 @ 10:00 pm
I vote for one of the out of the Box idess. This way you can be Barbie and shine all on your own. You do so much for others you deserve it. XO
October 26, 2015 @ 10:30 pm
Sandy, that is so sweet of you. And look at what you do for others! You are one of the most selfless people I know!
October 26, 2015 @ 6:30 pm
Stan is definitely NOT a Ken type. Ken was nerdy. So I’d have to pick GI Joe!
October 26, 2015 @ 7:01 pm
You are so funny, Jayne! Thank you! 😀
October 26, 2015 @ 2:03 pm
He has a beard, how about the one in the Oak Ridge Boys, or ZZ Top?
October 26, 2015 @ 3:22 pm
Hahaha, Dar! Now THAT’S using natural resources!
October 26, 2015 @ 1:09 pm
Tobi does it have to be G.I. Joe or Ken? How about a superhero how about superman… Have Stan get a Superman T-shirt get a White dress shirt and tie and just wear some glasses..just hast the dress shirt partially unbuttoned showing the Superman logo you can go as Jane the side kick reporter just my two cents…. have fun!!!
October 26, 2015 @ 1:25 pm
Eunie, I love your out-of-the-box thinking! Thank you for that great idea. And we have a headstart—Stan already wears glasses! LOL!
October 26, 2015 @ 10:13 am
I vote for GI Joe. He is in service to our country; love that.
October 26, 2015 @ 10:29 am
Thanks Maureen. I love and agree with your reasoning.
October 26, 2015 @ 7:01 am
Definitely GI Joe. Remember Ken was wimpy and GI Joe was manly!
October 26, 2015 @ 9:23 am
Thanks Linda! I don’t remember Ken being wimpy but I do remember GI Joe being manly! 😀
October 25, 2015 @ 11:57 pm
Gi joe is much hotter than ken!
October 26, 2015 @ 9:21 am
Thanks Kim. I guess it’s all the dirt and sweat. 😉
October 25, 2015 @ 10:23 pm
Another masterpiece Tobi column! I think Stan should definitely go as sexy, rugged GI Joe!
October 25, 2015 @ 10:36 pm
You are so kind, Jackie. Thank you. And I love your answer about what Stan’s costume should be. 🙂