When did my SPAM get so boring?
By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
When did I go from penis and breast enhancement SPAM, to cures for gout and high cholesterol? Or cutting my electric bill and thinking about reverse mortgages?
Am I REALLY that OLD? Wasn’t I just watching “Huckleberry Hound” on Saturday mornings while eating Kaboom with my Wilma Flintstone spoon?
Was it really so long ago that I was begging my mom to buy Screaming Yellow Zonkers at the local Food Fair?
…that my family was busy saving S&H Green Stamps so we could get an 8-Track Cartridge Storage Unit (only 4-3/4 books) from page 58 of the latest S&H Ideabook?
…that I plotted to get my parents to buy me a Tressy doll, a fully furnished (cardboard) Barbie Dream House and a sporty (plastic) Barbie Dream Car? (Didn’t get the car or the Dream House, but did get the Tressy.)
And when did they change Sugar Smacks and Sugar Pops to simply Smacks and Pops?
Okay. So all this wasn’t really yesterday. It was actually more like 50 years ago! (whaaaat????).
And seriously—mesh bladder slings???? Has it really come to this?
Who’s up for joining me in my little Denial Pity Party?
Or better yet, can someone send me instructions on how to de-snark my teenaged daughter?
PS: What 60s cereal, candy or TV shows did you love? What did your family save up green stamps for? We want to know!
May 21, 2015 @ 12:40 pm
I always ate the junkiest cereal because I was so skinny and my parents would do anything to fatten me up! Not sure if it was in the 60’s or later but I remember Lucky Charms and how the milk turned green! I remember Magilla Gorilla was the first TV show I saw on the new color TV. I used to like watching the Archies and reading all their comic books! Ah, Betty, Veronica, Archie and Jughead! I even still have the Archie’s single record that I cut out off the back of a cereal box! I’m with you on the denial game, especially since I can no longer eat all the junk I want and remain skinny!!!!!
May 21, 2015 @ 1:19 pm
Jackie, who cares about skinny? At this age, healthy and happy are the goals. Besides, you are beautiful just the way you are. And guess what? I STILL love Lucky Charms. 🙂